Body image (12-25yrs)

Accepting the way we look is hard for many of us and can be particularly difficult during our teenage years and into young adulthood. During these years bodies are of course changing quickly but at different rates. Social media can be a negative influence by portraying unrealistic and photoshopped images of people or, worse, encouraging harmful practices (see ‘Looksmaxxing’ below) and feeding insecurities.

Having a negative body image unsurprisingly often affects mood, anxiety and sense of self-worth.

How can parents help?

1. Asking and listening openly and non-judgementally to what young people are exposed to on social media.
2. Understanding that young people will be bombarded with content that they haven’t necessarily looked for
3. Encouraging scepticism about social media content. Young people are often much better than their parents at spotting AI but are more likely to be influenced by pseudo-scientific content or content that is promoted by peers.
4. Not talking negatively about their own appearance or that of others.

It’s interesting and alarming to see how social media images are manipulated and how damaging messages are constantly being delivered by social influencers. You can see some examples in these videos from the Dove Real Beauty Campaign and the links in Looksmaxxing article below. Searching for body-positive influencers can help redress the balance. Many apps also allow you to block content yourself e.g. on TikToK, you can activate  “restricted” mode, manage topics, and turn off personalised feeds.

If concerns about delayed growth or puberty are the cause, then read up on normal development in our section on puberty and sex.

When people seem to overly focus on parts of their appearance, it is often linked to underlying anxiety and self-confidence. Helping to tackle these is much more helpful than reassuring someone about their appearance. Offering reassurance feels natural but doesn’t work for long and you can get caught in a cycle of needing to constantly give reassurance. For more on this, have a look at the page on self-esteem

What is Looksmaxxing?

Parents should be aware that particularly young men and boys are being targeted online by an emerging strand of hyper-superficial masculinity, which originated first in male incel forums, but has gained traction on apps like TikTok. The primary focus of this new strand is looksmaxxing – by which impressionable individuals are encouraged to ‘maximise’ their physical appearance by any means necessary, in order to increase their appeal and value to society. This often includes the promotion of an array of extreme measures, including cosmetic procedures, the taking of obscure, poorly-tested supplements and the injection of peptides. Complex, time-consuming routines and facial exercises are also stressed, such as mewing – a tongue posture technique obsessively held as a way to supposedly sculpt ones jawline. A most concerning example of how far these measures can go is bonesmashing, by which young men are instructed to repeatedly strike areas of their own face with their fists or heavy objects, on the pseudo-scientific basis that this improves definition of the cheekbone and jaw. Those who engage with and share these concepts do so in an attempt to visually outdo other men (known as mogging) and avoid being visually outdone (known as being mogged), which they suggest is the sole determining factor in attracting girls and women.

This can understandably significantly contribute to poor self esteem, distorted body image, anxiety and low mood. TikTok algorithms will also bombard young men with videos that promote suicide and gendered hate-speech.

More about Looksmaxxing and how parents can help
What is the manosphere? What parents need to know and how to discuss it with your son.