For Parents
Worrying whether your child has developed an eating disorder is incredibly upsetting and parents nearly always blame themselves in some way, but the causes of eating disorders are complicated and different in every case. Understanding the emotions and drivers for disordered eating can help you help your child into recovery.
When to see your GP
See your GP as soon as possible to discuss whether a referral to specialist services is needed. Sometimes teenagers and young adults may not want to see a doctor or may not feel there is much of a problem. This denial and rationalisation are what allow someone to continue in what are often very extreme behaviours.
Letting go of an eating disorder and ‘getting better’ can be very frightening even when someone realises they are harming themselves. Understanding this ambivalence can be hard for parents, but is important to help you support them.
Resources for Parents and Caregivers
If your child agrees to see their GP, they may wish to go alone. While a GP cannot share information that someone over 16 has told them without that person’s consent, a parent can share their own worries with the GP. There is a lot of help and information available for young people and their families which we’ve pulled together for you here. Parents often find real-life stories helpful and there are several charities with helplines or e-mail support.
- I’m worried my child might have an eating disorder or an unhealthy attitude to food.
- Eating Disorders – what parents and carers need to know from the Royal College of Psychiatrists.
- The brain and eating disorders explains how poor nutrition can affect memory, the ability to make decisions, solve problems, concentrate and more.
- Advice for parents including mealtime tips and how to talk to your child.
- Supporting someone with an eating disorder on BEAT charity’s website.
- FREED resources for families include “eating with confidence” which is really useful to help think about starting recovery, “starting university”, “clean eating” and more.
- Advice on what not to say to someone starting to recover from an eating disorder(personal view on YoungMinds)
- Different types of eating disorders Just one of the useful pages on First Steps ED, based in the Midlands, who provide both NHS and private support.
Eating Disorder Helplines
- Talk-ED has online community support for parents and carers and also a help directory where you can put in your postcode and find counsellors in your area. Helpline 03000 111213. Option1 (support) Option 2 (family and friends)
- Beat eating disordersHelpline, directory of services, stories, blogs and the possibility to chat online. There is also a separate helpline for young people under 18. Helpline 0808 8010677
- YoungMinds Parent Helpline and other support
- The Mix (for under 25’s) Helpline for support on any topic. They also offer e-mail support, message boards and text support.
Eating Disorders Information and Charities
- Information about eating disorders for parents and caregivers
- Latest eating disorder guidelines summary
- Supporting someone with an eating disorder on BEAT charity’s website There is also a directory of services, stories, blogs and the possibility to chat online.
- Overeaters Anonymous Great Britain Run local groups throughout the country
- Talk-ED has online community support for parents and also a help directory where you can put in your postcode and find counsellors in your area.
- Stories and interviews with young people about their experiences with eating disorder services from all over the UK from HealthTalk
- Somerset and Wessex Eating Disorders Association –Great website, helpline and information and, if you live in the area, you may be able to access group support and 1-2-1 low-cost counselling. They also have a support service for students attending local colleges.
- First Step ED: A Midlands charity with resources and information including a downloadable self-care booklet here. They also have information on disordered eating in men and boys and eating disorders and neurodiversity. If you live locally, they also provide local support including free counselling for children
Professional Advice and Information Books for Parents
- Anorexia and Other Eating Disorders: how to help your child eat well and live well by Eva Musby. Highly recommended by child psychologists. The video below is just one of many you can find on Eva Musby’s YouTube channel – practical, empathetic and from the perspective of someone who’s been in your shoes.
- Eating Disorders Pocketbook by Pooky Knightsmith. Written for teachers, this little book is also great for parents. One reviewer writes: ‘I love the way Pooky writes from the heart and is so knowledgeable
- Skills-based Learning for Caring for a Loved One with an Eating Disorder This is a very practical book with good explanations but also strategies for coping and supporting, with lots of examples and easy-to-read action points. Highly recommended.
- Can I tell you about Eating Disorders? by Brian Lask and Lucy Watson. Available in your local library as part of a series of books recommended by young people and health experts (known as ‘Shelf-Help’)
- Help Your Teenager Beat an Eating Disorder by J.Lock and D. Le Grange. Helps families take an active role in their child’s treatment. Written for a US audience but recommended by many eating disorders specialists in the UK for its practical approach.
- Ed says U said: Eating Disorder Translator by June Alexander: Using examples of everyday conversations this book aims to improve communication between someone with an eating disorder and their family. Helpful to read for those suffering from an eating disorder as well
Parents on Eating Disorders
- Hope with Eating Disorders by Lynn Crilly, written from a parent’s first-hand experience, advice on how to identify and cope with different eating disorders and case studies.
- Bite-sized A Mother’s Journey alongside Anorexia in poetry form by Fiona Hamilton
- The Food of Love by Amanda Prowse. A novel about a mother discovering her daughter has an eating disorder. It starts with a light touch but doesn’t shy away from the realities, including looking at what behaviours from parents and others are helpful and not so helpful. Tough but ultimately hopeful.
For Young People: I think I have an Eating Disorder but I’m scared to make any changes
Are you wondering whether you might have an eating disorder or have finally realised you do? It can be really hard to be ready to admit there is a problem and even harder to have the courage to do something about it.
Even if you are not ready to make a change, it can be helpful to have someone to talk things over with so remember you are not alone and there is a lot of support out there for you. Many people with eating disorders are slow to realise they really have a problem. They often feel they are ‘not that bad’ even when others around them are worried.
Warning signs might be that you find that your eating is taking up all your thoughts, affecting your mood, your memory, your friendships or your ability to get better from injuries or illness. Scroll down to look through some links that might help including Books and Apps at the bottom of the page.
Help and Information for Young People
- YoungMinds information and support on anorexia
- YoungMinds information on bulimia
- Worries about weight and eating like ‘how do I stay a healthy and normal weight?’ ,’ What causes problems with eating?’,’ signs of an eating disorder” and ‘how to get help?’.
- The Mix – read articles on lots of topics like; ” Do I have an eating disorder?”,” How to stop an eating disorder relapse”, “How to help a friend with an eating disorder”, ” Having an eating disorder at university”, “Men and eating disorders”
- Childline website (for up to age 19+yrs) Honest and helpful information about what eating disorders are, what treatments are available, and how you can get help. There are message boards and the option to chat online with a counsellor.
- The brain and eating disorders explains how poor nutrition can affect memory, the ability to make decisions, solve problems, concentrate and more.
- Eating with confidence A downloadable guide on how to build healthy and nutritional meals while staying in control.
- Beat a directory of services, stories, blogs, and the possibility to chat online. There is also a separate helpline for young people under 18.
- Eating disorders in men
- Disordered eating in athletes
- Diabulimia : eating disorders in diabetes including the misuse of insulin
- Are you ready for change or not yet? Read more about the cycle of change here and work out what stage you are at (SEED) –advice from this charity run by volunteers who have experienced eating disorders themselves.
Books for Young People
- Banish Your Body Image Thief by Kate Collins-Donnelly. Available in your local library
- Tyranny by Lesley Fairfield (fiction- a graphic novel about anorexia ) Available in local libraries
Self-help Books for Young Adults 17+
- In addition to the books above, these require quite a bit of reading and so are more suitable for older teens or young adults and are often used by therapists. They are also helpful for parents to understand more about what sort of approaches might help. For example, many people with eating disorders are very hard on themselves and learning ‘self-compassion’ (or being kind to yourself) is an important part of recovery.
- Overcoming anorexia nervosa: A self-help guide using Cognitive Behavioural techniques by Christopher Freeman
- The anorexia workbook: how to Accept Yourself, Heal Your Suffering and Reclaim Your Life by Michelle Heffner
- Overcoming Binge Eating by C Fairburn
- The Centre for Clinical Interventions is an Australian Clinical Psychology website that provides really excellent down-loadable workbooks including building self-compassion, disordered eating, and building body acceptance.
Personal Stories
- Recovering from an eating disorder-a personal story
- Mind website has some more blogs and personal stories
Apps : Get Back in Control of your Eating Disorder
- Mindshift CBT Uses relaxation techniques like “mindful breathing” and positive visualisation to help with anxiety. There is also a section on “Thinking Right” with helpful thoughts which you can select to use instead of your usual negative circular thoughts.
- Eating Disorder Support App This new App has a huge amount of information, self-help, advice on supporting others, useful links, and even a calm zone
- RR (Recovery Record) App with a log for how you feel, but also ideas and suggestions for positive thoughts and coping strategies. Set yourself goals and choose coping skills that you think might work for you (click on coping skills, then add to see a selection but you can also add your own). There are guided meditations that you can pair with images of your choice. Based on CBT techniques, you can also share logs with others such as a counsellor.
- Eating Disorders Support App This App is packed with resources such as helplines and charities as well as self-care advice and is bang up-to-date.