Angry behaviour often comes from feeling anxious, sad, helpless or frightened. Anger can be an easier emotion to express especially if you feel you can’t talk to anybody. We have help and advice for you, whether you are a parent or a young person who is struggling.
For Parents – understanding anger
Anger at any age can be a sign of underlying anxiety, distress, frustration, embarrassment or sadness. Of course, it’s also normal for parents to clash with their teenagers as they become more independent and want to make their own choices. The books in the general Secondary school and Young adults section all have top tips on communication and choosing your battles, but the resources below have specific advice on dealing with anger.
- Why is my child angry?
- How to defuse situations and avoid making them worse and how to look after yourself. There is a good video too
- Parents guide on how to respond to anger. Advice on dealing with aggression and violence.
- Ditch the label “Ten tips on talking to your teenage son”
- Anger and aggression why they happen and how to cope. You can read through a more detailed workbook which takes you through a step-by-step approach to making a plan. (Mind Ed charity)
Responding to Anger in Children: video from the Parent’s Lounge on YoungMinds
Books (check our anxiety section too)
- What to Do When Your Temper Flares: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Problems with Anger by Dawn Huebner Workbook with lots of metaphors and useful strategies. Good for ages 6-12 years.
- Anger Management for Dummies by Gillian Bloxham; for older teens, young adults and parents.
- Mindfulness for Teen Anger A Workbook by Jason Murphy
For Young People – coping with anger
- If you often feel really angry, it might be because you are feeling worried, stressed or anxious. Pressure or even bullying behaviour from other people at school, or elsewhere can mean you lash out more at people you feel safe with, such as your family or friends. Or you might be having family problems, such as arguing with your parents, experiencing abuse or having a family member who has an alcohol, mental health or physical health problem.
- In your teens and early twenties, it’s also quite normal to get strong mood swings for no obvious reason and these can take you by surprise.
- Angry feelings might also be made worse by lack of sleep, alcohol, or drugs. Many young people find it helpful to talk to someone about how they feel and if you can’t easily talk to family or friends, you could try some of the helplines, 1-2-1 chat online or look for some counselling options; go to our support for young people page
Read more here:
- 4 warning signs you might be stressed
- Everything you need to know about anger
- Help with abuse
- Not getting on with your family or struggling to talk to them?
- More help for family problems
- Got in a mess online or with social media?
- 4 steps to help you deal with anger
- Do you often lose your temper and wonder why? Are there days when you just wake up angry? Some good ideas on how to cope
- Anger- find help and advice on how to control your temper and why it might be happening here
- Support if you are a young carer